


the monsters at our door

by mimiwrites



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pacific Rim Fusion, Angst, Drift Compatibility, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mentioned Character Death, Pacific Rim AU, mild violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:47:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24216898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mimiwrites/pseuds/mimiwrites
Summary: Even with colossal aliens breaching from the ocean, there were other monsters Atsumu and Sakusa had to worry about.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 8
Kudos: 97





	the monsters at our door

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pseudoanalytics](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pseudoanalytics/gifts).



> happy birthday, quip <3
> 
> [also low key inspired by quip’s fic, “don't bother checking my work (i've never cared for math anyway)”]

Sakusa Kiyoomi graduated in the top five of his class of nearly 1,900, making him one of the few candidates in the Jaeger program with a college degree. It should have made him more valuable, so he thought, but just because he was intellectually capable didn’t actually score him any points when it came to drift compatibility. For someone with such a high intellect and record number of kills in the combat simulator, he should have been a Ranger by now. But he couldn’t pilot a Jaeger alone, and he hadn’t matched high enough with any of the other candidates to drift. This made him an idle weapon, practically useless. And he refused to waste away and watch as the world burned around him.

Luckily, Shirabu Kenjirou was determined to use every weapon in their arsenal to the best of his ability. As the head engineer in J-Tech, he oversaw all operations concerning Rangers. With Sakusa failing to drift with any other current candidates, he had to get creative. That meant looking at any previous Rangers who happened to still be alive. 

Miya Atsumu and Osamu had been the poster boys of the Jaeger program. Being twins, they had a better advantage than most when it came to drift compatibility. They didn’t need the drift to share the same soul, but it definitely made piloting a lot easier. They piloted one of the fastest Jaegers in the world, and assisted in taking down 7 kaiju. It was during their last mission, off an island in Japan, that it all came to end for the Miya Twins. Or at least, for one of them. Although Atsumu would argue that his life ended the day his brother died. He was able to successfully make it back alive, but he swore to never get inside a Jaeger again, and quit the Defense Corps entirely. 

“Have you heard of Miya Atsumu?” Shirabu asked Sakusa, finding him sitting alone in his room. 

“Yes, we attended the Youth Training Corps together,” Sakusa replied curiously. 

“What did you think of him?”

Sakusa shrugged. 

“Capable fighter, pushy, arrogant, kind of a prick. Why?”

Shirabu smiled down at him and handed him his tablet. 

“Because you two are drift compatible.”

Sakusa grabbed the tablet out of his hands and studied it closely. His drift compatibility with Atsumu nearly matched Osamu’s. 

“What?” Sakusa asked in disbelief. “How is that possible?”

“I ran the simulation a dozen times,” Shirabu explained. ”Put you two through every program I could find. It checks out.”

Sakusa studied the chart again quietly for a few moments, trying to process what this meant for him. 

“...Where is he now?” Sakusa asked. “I thought he quit?”

“He did, but we’ve been keeping an eye on him. Just in case we ever needed him to come back.”

That implication was both exciting, and frustrating. If Sakusa had to rely on somebody to pilot a Jaeger, the last person he wanted it to be was Miya Atsumu. 

  
  
  


Shirabu walked into the dingy bar, ignoring the stares of the other patrons as he made his way toward his target. Atsumu only looked partially surprised to see him. 

“You lost or somethin’?” Atsumu drawled. 

“Long time, how’ve you been?” Shirabu asked. He didn’t flinch when Atsumu laughed in his face, bitter and laced with sarcasm. “Are you drunk?”

“Maybe,” Atsumu shrugged. 

“It’s not even noon.”

Atsumu rolled his eyes and took another sip of his drink. “Did ya come down here just to nag me?”

“I need you to come back,” Shirabu told him. 

Atsumu stared at him long and hard, his teasing smile now gone from his face. He knew this is what Shirabu came for, but he still didn’t want to hear it. 

“Nah,” Atsumu said, turning his focus back to his drink. 

“I don’t know if you’ve looked outside lately,” Shirabu pressed on, “but our world is being destroyed. We need all our best fighters, you included.”

“I can’t go back in there again,” Atsumu shook his head. “I can’t.”

“You can’t, or you won’t?” Shirabu knew this was more than just being stubborn for Atsumu, but he was desperate. Lives were literally on the line. 

“Whatcha need me so bad for, anyway?” Atsumu asked suspiciously. Surely, there were other Rangers, even rookies, who they could get to pilot. 

“I have a Ranger, you may remember him, Sakusa Kiyoomi,” Shirabu said. “I ran your scores with his, you two are drift compatible.”

Atsumu chuckled into his cup. “Me and Omi-kun, huh? Who’d a thought.” 

“So?”

“So, what? Get someone else.”

“I can’t, no one’s been able to drift with him.”

“You mean, he hasn’t been able to drift with anyone else,” Atsumu pointed out. 

“Semantics,” Shirabu waved his hand. “Point is, he’s got what it takes to be great, maybe even one of the best, but he needs a co-pilot.”

“If Omi wanted me to be his partner so bad, he shoulda come here himself,” Atsumu told him. 

“I don’t want you to be my partner,” Sakusa said, stepping into the room. “But you’re my only choice.”

Atsumu looked over at him curiously. Sakusa was wearing a large, long jacket, a face mask, and a scowl that showed just how much he didn’t want to be there. 

“Well, well,” Atsumu drawled with a smirk. “Must be serious if you came down here. This is the Boneyard District, ya know. This place was contaminated with Kaiju Blue. Careful not to touch anythin’.”

“Precisely why we should leave, as soon as possible,” Sakusa replied, resisting the urge to roll his eyes and dash out the door. 

Atsumu chuckled and shook his head. 

“Trust me, Omi-kun, you don't want none o’ this.”

“It doesn’t matter what I want, or what you want,” Sakusa said sternly, causing Atsumu to look up at him. “What matters is doing what the world needs us to do.”

“Spoken like a true hero,” Atsumu said dryly. 

Sakusa shook his head in disbelief. This was not the Miya Atsumu he remembered. Of course he knew what had happened with Osamu, everyone did, but he didn’t expect to see Atsumu like this. It was like, since his brother was gone, he didn’t even care what happened to the world around him. It pissed Sakusa off, this man was his one chance to pilot a Jaeger and fight, his one chance to do what he’s been training to do. 

“Just come spar with him, that’s all I ask,” Shirabu stepped in, feeling that they were losing Atsumu. “After that, I’ll leave you alone, for good. And you can come back here and drink til the end of the world if that’s what you really want.”

Atsumu still didn’t look convinced, he didn’t trust the Defense Corps, not anymore. Shirabu could sense his apprehension. 

“I wouldn’t force you into a Jaeger again,” Shirabu told him honestly. “And I wouldn’t ask you to if I thought that you couldn’t.”

“Or if ya weren’t desperate,” Atsumu mumbled. 

“Are you coming or what?”

Atsumu looked between him and Sakusa, taking a breath through his nose and exhaling a deep sigh. His mind was made up, regardless if he agreed with it or not. 

“Just one match, then I’m gone.”

  
  
  


It’d been a long time since Atsumu had been in the combat room. It looked and smelled exactly how he remembered it, although a bit more empty. There would forever be someone missing from this room. 

“You sure you can handle a 4-point match?” Sakusa questioned him, stretching his arms and wrists. “When was the last time you even exercised?”

“Just worry about yourself, rookie,” Atsumu replied. He hadn’t been spending his time outside wasting away completely. He was still strong, he still had some fight left in him. 

He grabbed a hanbō staff and twirled it around experimentally. The familiarity brought a gentle calm to his body. Yes, this is something he could still do. 

“A reminder,” Shirabu said to them as they took their staffs and got into fighting positions. “This isn’t about who wins and who loses, it’s about how you can fight together.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Atsumu brushed him off. “Just say when ya want us to start so I can get outta here.”

A small crowd had formed in the doorway to watch. It was well known who Atsumu was, and how Sakusa was the exceptional rookie that couldn’t play well with others. 

Atsumu and Sakusa stared each other down from across the mats. The tension in the room was almost palatable, and despite themselves, they were both excited. 

“Begin,” Shirabu said. 

Atsumu took a careful step forward, watching intensely to see if Sakusa would move. When he didn’t, he took another slow step, followed by two quicker ones and smacked his staff against Sakusa’s. 

“1-0.”

Sakusa pushed him off with surprising force, and spun his staff around, catching Atsumu off guard and stopping just in front of his face. 

“1-1.”

Atsumu rushed him with powerful strikes, most of which Sakusa blocked, before being slammed to the mats. Atsumu was panting slightly, smirking down at him as he pointed his staff in his face. 

“2-1. Still think I can’t handle myself?”

Sakusa scowled and swept his legs under Atsumu, causing him to fall to the floor. Sakusa quickly went to strike, but Atsumu blocked him, almost as though he knew that’s what Sakusa was planning to do. Sakusa spun the staff with a flick of his wrist, following after Atsumu as he tried to push away and regain his footing. Atsumu stumbled, and Sakusa made his strike near his right side. 

“2-2,” Sakusa huffed. “Don’t get cocky yet, Miya.”

They didn’t stop when they got to four, or twelve, or thirty-two. Their audience had gotten bored after a while and slowly filtered out, even Shirabu left after he was satisfied with what he saw. It was just them, but they continued to give it their all until they had nothing left. 

Atsumu laid on his back panting, his hands already blistering from wielding the staff. Sakusa was on his knees, trying to catch his breath as well.

“Let me in,” Sakusa said to him, throat dry. They’d been at this for hours, he didn’t need those tests to tell him they were drift compatible. He could feel it, although he’d never known it before. There was an instant connection between them, a thread, and as much as Atsumu annoyed him, he also understood him. 

“You don’t know what yer askin’,” Atsumu replied tiredly. 

Sakusa growled and grabbed Atsumu by the collar, hauling him up until they were face to face.

“I’m willing to fight,” Sakusa said. “Are you?” 

Atsumu looked into Sakusa’s fiery eyes, and for a moment was reminded of his brother. God, how his brother would kick his ass if he saw him now. Atsumu threw his head back and laughed, exhausted, but genuine. 

“You got it, partner.”

  
  
  


Stepping back into a Jaeger for Atsumu was like returning to a childhood home, full of good and bad memories. He never thought he’d be back here again, swore that he wouldn’t even come near one. But this was his choice, his chance, to fight for his brother, and for everyone else. 

“Ready?” Sakusa asked him, although Atsumu really should have been asking him that instead. 

“As I’ll ever be,” Atsumu sighed. He wasn’t nervous about being able to drift, he knew they’d be able to. He wasn’t even worried about Sakusa seeing his memories. More than anything, Atsumu was terrified of being in his own head again. For so long he’d been avoiding his thoughts, his memories, the good, the bad, the ugly. He turned to the bottle to keep stray thoughts at bay, but now there was no hiding. He had to face himself, but he wasn’t alone. 

“Don’t chase the rabbit,” Shirabu reminded them over the speaker. “Just let it flow through you, like water. Don’t fight the current, ride the wave.”

Neither of them were sure who he was specifically talking to, but it didn’t really matter. They both needed to hear it. 

“Initiating neural handshake in 3...2...1.”

The drift was like a whirlpool, mixing memories and merging souls. In moments, Sakusa saw his entire life, from when he was a child to now. He let it slip through his fingers, as he had been trained to do. He watched his memories fly by, gladly letting them go to the void. For a moment, all was calm. Then, came Atsumu. 

Sakusa was thrown, all his breath nearly left his body. He could see, feel Osamu dying, could hear Atsumu’s anguished screaming ringing in his ears. It felt as if his heart had been ripped out of him, not in a clean or surgical way, but rough and messy and painful. He could feel Atsumu’s pain, his guilt, the way he longed for death so that he could be with his brother again. An emptiness, a heaviness, like a cold dark blanket. But these were feelings Sakusa was familiar with. So he pulled the blanket off of himself, and then Atsumu. 

“Drift stabilizing,” Shirabu said, watching their monitors with careful scrutiny. He exhaled in relief when their alignments shifted to 100%. They’d managed to do it, but now, to see if they could hold onto it. 

“Alright,” Shirabu said to them over the transmission. “Let’s go over some basic maneuvers.”

Sakusa and Atsumu were exhausted by the time their first training session was over, more so than when they had sparred the night before. While it was manageable with two people sharing the neural load, it still took a lot of mental and physical exertion to pilot a Jaeger. After getting a meal, Atsumu found Sakusa off by himself in a corner, crouched down like he was meditating. 

“Hey,” Atsumu said as he squatted down in front of him. “You good?”

“I’m fine,” Sakusa replied. Atsumu shifted his weight on his feet, trying to think of what to say. 

“Didja wanna talk about it?” 

“I’m not put off by your memories,” Sakusa assured him. 

“I wasn’t talkin’ about mine.”

“Oh.”

Sakusa couldn’t read the expression on Atsumu’s face, and for the first time, he actually missed being in the Drift so he wouldn’t have to wonder. 

“What’s there to talk about?” Sakusa asked. “You saw it all, didn’t you?”

He did. Atsumu saw Sakusa’s memories, felt them as though he had experienced them himself. He saw Sakusa’s family, the hospital, finally understood why Sakusa was so squeamish about germs. Atsumu felt the way Sakusa had wanted to get out of his body, tear off his skin, wipe himself out of existence. He also saw how he pulled himself out of it, how he fought, to live, to do better, to be something more. Sakusa didn’t want pity, Atsumu knew that. So he wasn’t going to give him any, he was just going to stick by his side, as Sakusa was going to stick to his. 

“Ya know, it’s kinda funny how we matched up, huh?” Atsumu mused with a small smile. 

Just then, they heard laughing come from the hallway behind them as three other Jaeger pilots walked by. Bokuto Koutarou, Kuroo Tetsurou, and Sawamura Daichi were probably the most peculiar Rangers in the world. No one else had been able to accomplish what they had, piloting a Jaeger with three people. They were all linked in some way; a hand in a back pocket, an arm around a shoulder, a hand around a waist. Atsumu watched as they walked by, admittedly a little envious. 

“Well,” Sakusa muttered, his eyes following the three as they walked away. “Stranger things have happened.”

Atsumu threw his head back and laughed, surprised that even Sakusa Kiyoomi knew how to tell a joke. 

“Yer secretly a funny guy, ya know that?” Atsumu smiled. He stood up, and reached his hand down to Sakusa to help him up. Sakusa stared at it suspiciously and made no move to take it. 

“I washed my hands,” Atsumu sighed. 

Sakusa looked up at him, trying to see if Atsumu was lying. Well, he’d find out if he was soon enough anyway. He reached up and took Atsumu’s hand and let himself be pulled to his feet. 

  
  
  


Any chance they got, Atsumu and Sakusa trained together. The more time spent together, either sparring, working out, playing basketball, the more they started to flow together outside the Drift. Drifting was also getting to be almost effortless, it would only take them about ten seconds to align now. Shirabu was gratified with how quickly they were making progress, and as soon as another Kaiju popped up nearby, he was ready to send them out. 

“Ok, Omi-kun,” Atsumu said as they made their way through the ocean in their Jaeger. “It’s the real deal this time, ya ready?”

“I’ve been ready,” Sakusa replied confidently, but Atsumu could feel the slight waver in his soul.  _ It’ll be okay, _ Sakusa felt Atsumu say to him, _ we’ve got this. _

Sakusa swallowed down his nerves, and pressed on. That Kaiju was coming whether he was ready or not, so he had better get it together. 

The waves were rough, but the hulking metal of their Jaeger cut through it. Atsumu had insisted they give it a new name, Sakusa didn’t really care, until Atsumu started listing off the most asinine names he’d ever heard. Finally, they both agreed to settle on Obsidian Jackal. 

“Target approaching straight ahead,” came Shirabu’s voice over the speaker. 

A large, dark mass lifted out of the water, revealing a head the shape of a curved blade and covered in barbed teeth. Its blue glowing eyes locked onto Obsidian Jackal, and it leaned back its head and released a powerful roar that could have shook the earth. 

Sakusa didn’t realize he was beginning to hyperventilate, until Atsumu reached out into the Drift and took his trembling hands in his. Even though they remained locked in place a few feet apart, it was a comforting reminder that he wasn’t alone. He trusted Atsumu, and Atsumu trusted him. 

Together, they powered up the plasma cannon in their Jaeger’s right arm and took a defensive stance. The Kaiju, who Shirabu had named Fangclaw, charged at them while tearing out another roar. Obsidian Jackal braced for impact. 

Fangclaw smashed into them, throwing Atsumu and Sakusa around inside the Jaeger. Sparks flew, and they could feel the tinge in their armor from where the Jaeger got damaged. Grunting, they grabbed the Kaiju with their left hand as they shot their cannon into its side. Fangclaw roared and bounced off of them and fell back into the water. 

“Keep yer eyes peeled!” Atsumu shouted. 

Suddenly, they were nearly toppled over when the Kaiju leapt out of the black water and slashed its claws into their side. They pulled back their right arm and punched Fangclaw’s head repeatedly until it let go, curling off of them with a hiss. Obsidian Jackal lifted their hands together and brought it crashing down over its head again. 

“Charge it up!” Atsumu yelled. 

As the electric flame in their right fist built up, they took a step back to put some distance between them. Fangclaw shook its head in a daze, but quickly snapped out of it and lunged, sinking its teeth into their left arm. 

Sakusa screamed out in pain as an excruciating current surged through his arm. They tried to shake the Kaiju off, but Fangclaw just bit down harder. 

Obsidian Jackal swung their charged fist into the beast’s side and emptied the clip. Fangclaw roared against them, striking its head into them as it tried to shove them over. Its barbed teeth ripped into their armor, sparks flew as it tore out chunks of metal. It took several shots, but eventually the Kaiju went slack and slipped back into the water. 

“Obsidian Jackal, report!” Shirabu called out. 

Sakusa and Atsumu watched as the heat signature from Fangclaw faded away completely. They waited a few moments longer, just to be sure. When they felt confident, Atsumu reached up and clicked on the comm. 

“Target eliminated,” he panted. 

Atsumu looked over at his co-pilot and smiled tiredly. Sakusa returned it, as relief and joy overcame his senses. Again he felt that phantom touch, could feel Atsumu’s soul embracing his. He never really appreciated physical contact before, but this...this was nice. 

  
  
  


As time went on, it was like their souls were becoming more and more in sync, even outside the Drift. Inside the Drift was still where they had most of their discussions, Sakusa wasn’t really much of a conversationalist outside his head, but in it, he had a lot of complex thoughts that Atsumu gladly made his way through. 

Atsumu tried to convince Sakusa that they should room together, the more time spent together the stronger their bond would be, but Sakusa had told him there was no way he was going to sleep anywhere near his mess. Not that Atsumu was messy, he’d even been making a subconscious effort to be neater since Sakusa became his partner. But Sakusa appreciated his personal space, and since he had to share headspace with Atsumu he didn’t see why they ought to share living space on top of that. 

That did not mean that Atsumu never was in his room. There was a time, where Atsumu had found Sakusa standing uncomfortably outside his own room, looking at it as if there was a Kaiju inside. 

“There’s a cockroach,” Sakusa told him when Atsumu gave him a curious look. 

Without saying a teasing word, or making an amused face, Atsumu entered Sakusa’s room. A few minutes later he emerged with the offending creature trapped between a glass and a paper. 

“Don’t expect me to clean yer room for ya,” Atsumu said to him as he walked past to get rid of the cockroach. 

“Don’t expect me to say thank you,” Sakusa shot back, annoyed. 

He didn’t need to, anyway. The next time they drifted, Atsumu could feel Sakusa’s gratitude. In the Drift, there was no hiding. They could hear every thought, sense every feeling. They could feel how much they loved each other. 

There were some things that Sakusa felt could only happen in the Drift. It was so easy to communicate with Atsumu that way. They still bickered, but it was usually more affectionate. Over the months it snowballed, growing and growing until it could no longer be ignored. 

After they defeated another Kaiju together, the celebratory passion that followed was nearly tangible. Their souls reached out for each other, blending into one another. Their hearts intertwined like laced fingers. If entering the Drift was a neural handshake, then this was a neural kiss. 

Back at base, Sakusa fled to his room. He wanted to push whatever that was under the rug, act as if it never happened. The truth was, loving Atsumu was terrifying. He’d never loved anyone before, not like that, it was always safer to be alone. He felt what it was like to lose someone you cared for so deeply, that first time they drifted. 

“Omi-kun!” Atsumu called after him, following him into his room. 

“What are you doing, get out,” Sakusa said dismissively, looking anywhere but at him. Atsumu closed the door behind himself in a stubborn act of defiance. 

“Why are you runnin’ from this?” 

“We can’t,” Sakusa said quietly. “We can’t.”

“Why not?” Atsumu demanded. 

“This is the real world!” Sakusa all but shouted. “We’re only here to fight!”

“What’s the point if you’ve got nothin’ to fight for?” Atsumu cried. 

“Atsumu…” Sakusa sighed. “What happened...that can only ever happen in the Drift.”

Atsumu looked as if Sakusa had just slapped him across the face. 

“That’s bullshit,” he spat. “That’s bullshit and you know it.”

Sakusa turned away, unable to look at him. Even so, he felt his heartstrings being tugged behind him, urging him to turn around. 

“I’m scared too, ya know,” Atsumu said quietly. “Ya know I am. Ya know what I’ve lost. But I still want this. I still want you.”

Sakusa squeezed his eyes shut, attempting to swallow down his emotions. It used to be so easy for him, why was it giving him so much trouble now? 

Atsumu waited for Sakusa to do something, to say something, but he just stood with his back to him and said nothing. Atsumu shook his head incredulously, not willing to give up just yet. He’d come too far to let go of this now. 

“Dammit, Kiyoomi,” Atsumu said shakily. “You asked me once if I was willin’ to fight. Well, I’m willin’ to fight for this. Are you?”

Sakusa turned around then, finally looking Atsumu in the eye. Even outside the Drift, it was as if they were still connected. He was certain he was feeling exactly what Atsumu was. Which meant that he was burning for this, too. 

Sakusa made two quick strides over to Atsumu and pulled his face into a passionate kiss. Atsumu, his co-pilot, his partner, his everything, sighed into his mouth and pulled him tightly against him. They peeled off each other’s clothes and fell into Sakusa’s bed, completely bare and vulnerable, as they were in the Drift. They embraced each other’s scars, tracing their fingers over them as if they were constellations. Pressing their foreheads together, they breathed each other in. No matter how close they were, it still didn’t feel close enough. They wanted to go deeper, to merge their hearts together completely. 

With every push and pull, every inhale and exhale, every give and take, they met each other. Their souls interlaced as if in a dance, and they did not need an outside force to hear what the other was thinking;  _ I love you. _

  
  
  
  
  
  


_ “Thank you, I'll say goodbye soon _

_ Though it's the end of the world, _

_ Don't blame yourself now _

_ And if it's true, _

_ I will surround you and give life to a world _

_ That's our own” _

Porter Robinson,  _ Goodbye To A World _

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!
> 
> fakeanimeboi on twitter


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